90 Day Drug and Alcohol Treatment Transformation
“The purpose of spiritual practice is to affect a transformation in our attitudes; to make our minds more positive.” – Dalai Lama
What is it like:
After a 90-day treatment program your son or daughter should have established a solid foundation to start a new sober life on. With this new life, people might seek a new career choice and activities. This is a good thing since the old choices had them choosing to drink and use drugs to fill a void.
Once leaving an inpatient rehab they should have made new friends to go to meetings and other sober activities with. They might learn how to go to sport games and clubs without relying on drinking to make the social event fun. You should have more faith in them that they can still go out where alcohol is served and not be tempted to use.
The longer someone was in treatment the larger chance they have at long-term sobriety, so if people who committed to 90 days and successfully completed the program should have gained some trust back in you that they can slowly, but surely start making wiser decisions.
As a parent, you must understand that remaining sober is an ongoing effort. It is like any other disease that needs daily care such as meetings and support from a sponsor. This should be something to expect for a lengthy period since an addicted person who stops going to meetings and doesn’t follow the steps can easy fall back into a lifestyle of substance abuse.
When they decide to leave treatment, and come home they need to realize a few things:
- Things are going to be different. Some who think that life is going to return to normal when leaving a rehab center will be very disappointed. If your son or daughter plans to return home and live with you, make ground rules so things do not go back to how it once was.
- Make modifications around the house so that they can’t relapse. If they snuck out at night to score some drugs or get high, then put an alarm system on the doors and windows and use it. If your son or daughter was drinking your liquor then put it in a locked cabinet or put it where he or she cannot gain access to it even when you’re not at home.
- Transitioning from rehab to home can be very stressful since they are not under constant supervision and are being tested constantly whether they can remain sober. So, try to relieve stress and have a movie night or game night where they can have fun with the family.
One thing is to try to avoid boredom. Make them do some chores in the evening such as prepare dinner or clean the house. This will keep them occupied and feel a sense of purpose in the family.
Boundaries should be stern:
- No drugs or alcohol should be allowed in the house of people who are transitioning from rehab to a home life. If your son or daughter is caught using again, make rules stating that they must leave immediately and that you will not help them pay for a place to stay. Control what goes on especially under your own roof.
- Do not allow them to have old friends that still use or drink over to hang out. Sadly, you can’t really control who they chose to be friends with, but you can control who they invite over to your house if your child still lives with you.
- If they were once struggling with legal issues and you helped them out financially, let them know that you will no longer bail them out or pay for a lawyer if they decide to drink or use again and get in trouble.
- When making this boundary you must be strong enough to stick with it even though it can be difficult because you never want to see one of your kids in jail.
- Don’t let old habits like bad language or disrespect continue in you and your child’s relationship. When they talk to you make sure you demand respect and proper language. Since they have been clean for three months, they should have adopted different word choices that don’t incorporate curse words or disrespect. This will just help them learn a new way of living rather than how they were speaking and acting when they were using which was selfish.
- The money boundary should have already been established during the first 30 and 60 days, but remember to enforce it even more as time goes on. So, if you were originally just making them pay for their rent, start making them pay for things like family dinner and gas for transportation. This will only help them become completely independent.
- Now that they have been sober for some time now, do not cover for them for anything regardless of the circumstance. Make sure that your child is taking ownership of any mistake that they make. If they forgot to do basic things like wash the dishes, then do not do it for them or have an excuse. Allow them to learn from their decisions so they can be prepared when one of their decisions has larger consequences.
Finding and Showing Support:
“Taking a realistic view and cultivating a proper motivation can also shield you against feelings of fear and anxiety.” Dalai Lama
Motivation and support is something that you should always provide your son or daughter while trying to rehabilitate.
Help keep them focused on goals. Recovery is an ongoing everyday process it does not end when you leave the treatment facility. To keep their goals on track, make a routine with them. This routine should include:
- Physical exercise
- Three healthy meals a day
- Seven to eight hours of sleep every night
- Work responsibilities
- Hobbies and play time
At this point in aftercare your child should start to make their own decisions about the aftercare they want to receive. Just encourage them and help them make appointments when they are finding it difficult or too time consuming to do so. Just tell them that you don’t want to see them slip back into addiction and that talking about their thoughts and life to a therapist could help them unwind. Some things after care should include are:
- Have them take advantages of resources after treatment. There are many resources they can use after the treatment center such as health services, transportation, and counseling that can be beneficial. Make counselor appointments mandatory and have them go on a weekly or monthly basis.
- Focus on mental health.
- Help someone else who is fresh in recovery so it reminds them constantly of where they once were and how far they have come. It also helps passing on information so others can become sober.
Stay alert for signs of relapse. Boredom, depression and isolation can be warning signs that they might relapse soon. Try to prevent these by asking them what is wrong and what can you do to help.
Stop Enabling Behavior:
After your son or daughter has been in treatment for 90 days he or she will begin to transform back into society and become a functioning member. There are many things that they should have learned at this point which should make this transition into society easier.
- Do not allow them to have one drink because they believe they have the addiction under control. It only takes one drink to become a full-blown substance abuser once again.
- Make them go to as many faith based activities as possible and do not enable them to miss it because of an excuse. You will start to notice their faith in a higher power has kept them sober and should be important to them.
- Do not pay for their fun activities, allow them time to unwind. Allow time to relax, if your son or daughter decides to leave rehab and you expect higher daily productivity and they have a heavy work load it will cause stress which will only give them a bigger chance of relapse. But, do not enable them by giving them a paid vacation, they need to work for something like that.